Many of us grew up hearing the lie, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”
The lie made us feel OK as we teased others. We tried to convince ourselves the teasing others did of us was no big deal, but it was.
It was all seen as, “just a part of being a kid,” but it is not.
Bullying is defined by stopbullying.gov as “unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involve a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.”
They are just words, but words are powerful.
“You are a winner,” carries a positive encouraging message.
“You are a loser,” is negative and more powerful than a fist to the face.
Words can tear us apart or build us up. They can make us believe in the future or want to give up.
Too many young people find themselves the victim of bullying. Too many are scarred for life while others call it quits.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, according to the CDC. We lose about 4,400 young people every year. For every suicide, there are at least 100 attempts.
Bully victims are two to nine times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University.
A British study found that bullying was involved in half of suicides among young people.
School shootings grab our attention. They get front page coverage and they are terrible. Death by bullying is also terrible, but it doesn’t get much attention.
However, the bully walks into their school, instead of a loaded AR-15, they carry a loaded tongue. With it they fire words, ripping apart their victim’s ego, self-confidence and spirit. Their bullets tear away dreams and shatter hope.
Today the bully also can use their fingers to attack through social media, which is called cyberbullying.
Bullying attacks can come as a physical attack, emotional attack, cyber-attack, sexting or circulating suggestive nude photos or messages about a person.
The attacks have to stop.
We can no longer lie to ourselves and our young people. It is not a part of growing up and it is a big deal.
Nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims, according to an ABC News report. And some 160,000 students stay home from school due to a fear of bullying.
If you are a victim, speak up and keep speaking up. Seek out a teacher or counselor who will listen and act. Do not allow the bullies to win.
Parents, if your child is being bullied, visit stopbullying.gov for help and speak up.
If you are a bully, STOP. Your words can kill and you do not want to nor should you have to live with that guilt. Plus, it is not cool nor is it OK.
Put yourself in your victim’s shoes — how would you like it?
Just because someone is different than you doesn’t make you better. Just because their skin color, religion, sexual orientation, beliefs, physical appearance or parent’s income level is different than yours doesn’t make you better, just different.
So how do we end bullying?
Parents need to act quickly if you learn your child is a bully. To ignore it is like watching your child walk out of the house and head to school with a loaded gun.
Talk to your child about respect for others and treating others as they would want to be treated.
Kids learn from adults so if your child sees you showing kindness and respect to others, even those who are different, they are much more likely to do likewise. On the flip side, if you are the bully, the apple — your child — will not fall far from the tree.
The latter is not cool.
School officials cannot turn a blind eye, nor should anyone who witnesses bullying.
If someone sees child abuse, they are mandated to report it. The same should be true of bullying. It is abuse.
Maybe it is time to enact anti-bullying laws and hold bullies accountable. Law enforcement investigates abuse cases — how is bullying different?
It is time to end these savage attacks and give all students a safe, encouraging place to learn. A place where they feel welcomed and respected.
We are talking seriously about school shootings; we also need to talk about a problem robbing us of a possible 2,200 young people every year.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words” destroy and can even kill. It is time to end bullying.
Brad Staman 